Zit Headache

I get zits as much the next guy, but it's rare to be awakened by one. This thing crept into my sacred sleep and called out for attention. Are you kidding me, zit? Isn't that a little selfish? As if having you on my face isn't already a bum deal? Now you want to give me a headache? I don't keep up on the latest dermatological trends, so I really don't know - is this your new thing? Are you and your friends like "We're doing this now"? If so, I'm not going to be happy. Here's a picture of me with my zit headache, not being happy.
If any zits are following this blog, please....be reasonable. We've accepted you as unsightly and embarrassing. Don't be something that requires Advil. Stick to your original mission statement - replacing confidence with misery and socially awkward behavior. If you at least remain true to this, we can continue fighting a conventional war. Yes, drying my face off with Accutane in 9th grade was meant as a direct attack upon your existence, as well as that of a mean-spirited guy named Mario who said "Hey Doolittle.....Oxycute 'em" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvDgcXhpVls) one day in the school library. (Uncalled for, Mario)
I admit it, zit. I want you dead. But I'm supposed to want you dead, and you're supposed to want my oily pores. Right? Stick to that. Don't get into the headache game. Here's a picture of what I would've looked like if you had just been a zit.
See? Much better. Even my hairline seems a little lower. That's all I'm asking. Know your place, zit. You can stay in the misery market without causing physical pain.

P.S. I've forgiven you, Mario.
P.P.S. Not really.